Is it a hood ornament? Is it a flamingo? It’s a non-striker …

“Maybe some people will use it, maybe they won’t.” – Glenn Phillips on his unorthodox non-striker’s stance.

Telford Vice / Sydney

THE non-striker’s end could do with some positive publicity, and it got it towards the conclusion of New Zealand’s innings in their men’s T20 World Cup match against Sri Lanka at the SCG on Saturday. While the focus was on the other end of the pitch, Glenn Phillips had the bright idea to set himself up as a sprinter rather than a batter.

He faced forward with his left foot behind the crease. His right foot was a metre or so up the pitch. Both his knees were cocked and ready to go. His upper body leaned into the stance, his chest parallel to the pitch. His bat was on the ground lengthwise and nowhere near the crease. He held it in his right hand, in a hammer grip, where the handle met the splice. His left hand and arm were extended at an upward angle in the air behind him. He looked not unlike a hood ornament on a vintage car.

But Phillips had a plan. He was under starter’s orders, awaiting not the crack of a pistol but the blur of the bowler rushing past. “If I had had my bat behind the crease, I thought it would be slower to turn and accelerate,” he told a press conference after the match, in which he scored a 64-ball 104 to engineer New Zealand’s 65-run win. “So I had my foot inside the crease, and I was going from there. The [conventional] extension of the bat inside the crease gives you another foot or two, but I’ve got little arms so my speed is probably going to get me further than my reach.”

Phillips has speed to burn, as he showed in running the 40 runs he scored that didn’t come in fours and sixes. And in a stand of 84 off 64 with Daryl Mitchell that started after New Zealand had been reduced to 15/3 in the fourth over. Phillips said the pair had used aggressive running between the wickets as a way to counter the dominance Sri Lanka enjoyed when the partnership started.

On the possibility of his unorthodox approach at the non-striker’s end gaining traction, Phillips said: “Maybe some people will use it, maybe they won’t.” Cricket’s army of analysts are probably already measuring whether what might be called the Phillips flamingo makes for faster running than the regular method of keeping the toe of the bat behind the crease while holding it near the end of the handle.

Mitchell, it seems, won’t follow Phillips’ lead. “I’m not as fast as Glenn,” he said. “I couldn’t get out of the blocks as fast as he does, so I probably wouldn’t do it that way. GP, he’s his own man. We love all the weird and wonderful things that he does. We’re all happy for him to keep doing them as long as he does things like [score centuries].”

Trent Boult concurred, and offered critique: “If anyone was going to do it it was him. It wouldn’t have been pre-planned; that just happened. He actually had the bat in the wrong hand, according to our trainer.”

Right on both counts, as Phillips explained: “It was a spur of the moment thing, but I actually had my three-point stance wrong — it’s supposed to be the other arm and the other leg. The position was to be able to see the bowler and take off as quickly as possible.”

And to avoid being run out in the fashion that has grabbed headlines in recent weeks. When Deepti Sharma had had enough of Charlie Dean backing up too far at the non-striker’s end in an ODI at Lord’s last month, she rightfully interrupted her delivery stride to remove the bails and dismiss Dean. When Mitchell Starc spotted Jos Buttler doing the same as Dean while Starc was bowling during a T20I in Canberra earlier this month, he issued Buttler with a warning that was picked up by the stump microphones: “I’m not Deepti but I can do it. Doesn’t mean you can leave your crease early.” 

England’s players aren’t alone in stealing ground. The regrettable practice is widespread. At best it is reckless of the non-striker not to know where they are in relation to the crease. At worst it is cheating. Either way, the advantage gained is unfair and should be punished — and the bowler is best placed to do so.

The argument that the non-striker should first be warned is ridiculous. Bowlers don’t tell batters what kind of delivery they’re about to receive, just as batters don’t inform bowlers about what stroke they’re about to play. Why should bowlers alert non-strikers to the legitimate mode of dismissal they’re entitled to effect?

“You trying not to be out of the crease,” Phillips said. “There’s been a lot going around about Mankads and leaving the crease. At the end of the day it’s my responsibility to make sure that I’m in the crease and leave at the right time. If the bowler is doing his job then he has the right to take the bails off.”

Phillips isn’t the only player with sharp ideas in this area of the game. Earlier this month, in an interview with the Melbourne Age, Starc floated the notion of a technological solution to the scourge: “While it is hard to do at all levels, why not take it out of the hands of interpretation and make it black and white? There are cameras for front foot no-balls, a camera there all the time [at higher levels of cricket] and someone watching the line.

“Every time the batter leaves the crease before the [bowler’s] front foot lands, dock them a run. Then there’s no stigma. It takes away the decision to have to run someone out or think about it.”

Simple and effective. Just like imagining yourself as a hood ornament or a flamingo to gain an advantage fairly.

First published by Cricbuzz.

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Simon Harmer then, now and tomorrow

“It’s still ingrained in a lot of cricket cultures that spinners almost shouldn’t bowl; that it’s a fast bowler’s game.” – Simon Harmer, recovering fast bowler.

Telford Vice /Old Trafford

SOMETHING about Simon Harmer seems off. He’s at the other end of a video call, looking like he always does. But also not. For one thing, he isn’t wearing sunglasses. For another, he’s in an Essex shirt. For still another, it’s mid-April. Or more than two months before South Africa’s squad for the Test series in England is announced.

Harmer is talking from a hotel room in Birmingham after a training session the day before the start of a match against Warwickshire. He should, therefore, be in an Essex shirt. But that’s what’s wrong with this picture: it’s not a South Africa shirt.

How quickly the subliminal narrative changes. Since Harmer played the first of his 185 matches for Essex, in April 2017, he has appeared for South Africa only three times, including the Old Trafford Test. Thus we should regard him as an Essex player exponentially more than as a South Africa player. But, emotionally, for many South Africans, that is impossible.

Especially not in the wake of his successful return to the international arena in the Test series against Bangladesh in March and April. Keshav Maharaj was the headline hero with 16 wickets in the two matches, but Harmer was only three off that pace. No other South Africa bowler took more than four.

Less measurably, more viscerally, Harmer’s bristling presence evokes Allan Donald, Dale Steyn, or Kagiso Rabada. Aggression sparks from his serrated blond fringe as he darts for the crease, where he bursts into a whirl of electric urgency. He bowls as if he might hurt someone, not just dismiss them. He couldn’t be more South African if he tried. Or, in another sense, less. Who does the off-spinner think he is impersonating a fast bowler in a country that brims with some of the best speed merchants?

“I grew up as a fast bowler,” Harmer told Cricbuzz. “I idolised the South African quicks — Allan Donald, Shaun Pollock, Dale Steyn, Jacques Kallis. Only when I got to halfway through high school, when I was about 15, did I realise I was never going to bowl express pace. My batting was keeping me in teams, but I felt like I could add more. That’s when the experiment with bowling spin started.”

So, he’s a recovering fast bowler. That helps explain his attitude on the field. But there’s more to his sustained success than that: “When you go to a net session you’ll always see a fast bowler bowling spin and you’ll see a spin bowler bowling fast. You always want what you don’t have. But coaches realised there was something there: I could turn the ball. With fast bowlers, you can either bowl fast or you can’t. It’s very similar — you can’t teach a spinner to turn the ball. They’ve either got it or they don’t. You can teach control, but not putting revs on the ball. That foundation of fast bowling helped me so much with my spin bowling in terms of my positions at the crease, etcetera. It was the right progression rather than bowling spin from when I was young.”

His former life in the game has informed other aspects of how he plays, including unusually intense bowling mechanics for a spinner: “I need to get energy onto the ball, and in order to do that I need to generate momentum to the crease. If I’m too slow, I feel like I’m relying too much on my action at the crease. If I’ve got some momentum going to the crease — which maybe stems from my fast-bowling days — I feel like it allows me to think about what I’m trying to do with the ball, versus thinking about what my left arm’s doing or where my head’s going.”

The allround package is an attacking off-spinner; a modern rarity, especially outside Asia. In South Africa, in particular, spinners of any sort haven’t often been deployed as wicket-takers. They’re tasked with keeping it tight if they even get a bowl in the first innings, and if they’re lucky and the pitch deteriorates they’ll see more action later in the match. But most of the responsibility for dismissing the opposition still rests with seam bowlers. At least, that’s how it used to be.

For the past five seasons, the most successful bowler in South Africa’s first-class competition has been a spinner. Twice, that spinner has been Harmer. Once, Maharaj. Slow bowlers have occupied four places among the top five wicket-takers twice, and three times also twice. The equation is skewed by the fact that South Africa’s quality quicks don’t play much domestic first-class cricket. Rabada, for instance, featured in only two such games in the country during the same five seasons. But it is also true that confidence in the threat posed by spin is growing.

Harmer has done his bit to make that happen — especially in South Africa but also in England, where he took 308 wickets at 20.19 in 64 first-class matches for Essex from 2017 to 2021. Harmer was the leading wicket-taker in the first division of the county championship twice in those five years, and finished out of the top five only once. So far this year, he is the leading spinner in the competition with 46 wickets from nine matches. 

Why was attacking off-spin having its moment? “The cricketing world has evolved a lot from where it was maybe 15, 20 years ago, and orthodox spinners have come a long way as well. Graeme Swann did it to an extent in his international career and if you look at what Nathan Lyon’s done, there’s a strong case to make to say spin is becoming very important in how teams are made up. In terms of balancing attack versus control, teams and bowling coaches are starting to realise that having an attacking spin option in your XI brings a dynamic that people are enjoying and is helping teams to be successful.”

No-one appeared in more Tests for England, bowled more overs or took more wickets than Swann, who took 255 wickets in 60 matches, when he was in their XI — and often in an attack that included James Anderson and Stuart Broad. Something similar is true of Lyon, who is still at it after 110 Tests in which he has taken 438 wickets. That’s 160 more than second-placed Mitchell Starc, who has played 41 fewer Tests and bowled 2,446.3 fewer overs than Lyon.

But the battle for spin remains a long way from won in countries like South Africa, despite the evidence of recent seasons. “It’s still ingrained in a lot of cricket cultures that spinners almost shouldn’t bowl; that it’s a fast bowler’s game,” Harmer said. If you’re not an off-spinner, nevermind not an attacking off-spinner, you may be puzzled. Aren’t offies the second-class citizens of cricket, begging for a bowl in the queue behind the quicks, the wrist spinners and the left-arm orthodoxes? Aren’t they always waiting for a left-hander to arrive so they can finally turn the ball away from the bat?

Good luck telling Harmer that: “I feel a lot more in the game against right-handers than I do bowling to left-handers. Yes, the ball is turning away [from left-handers] but there’s a lot more I feel I can do with the ball in the air to a right-hander, and bring fielders catching around the bat into the game, than you can necessarily do with left-handers.”

That squares with the fact that, in Harmer’s first seven Tests, 18 of his wickets have been those of left-handers and 15 of right-handers. He’s taken most of them wearing sunglasses, a quirk he knows doesn’t sit well everywhere in the game. And which has become more than an affectation.

“I know it can come across as arrogant. But growing up and seeing my idols wearing Oakley sunglasses, all I ever wanted was a pair of Oakley sunglasses. Then guys like Graeme Swann, Johan Botha and Shane Warne started bowling in sunglasses. That’s probably where it stems from. I feel so uncomfortable now when I don’t have them on. They’ve become almost like a safety net. I feel like the batters can see where my eyes are going.

“I almost feel a bit insecure when I don’t have my sunglasses on. I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin [wearing sunglasses]. As I’ve got older, probably because I play with sunglasses, my eyes have become more sensitive. So I probably rely on them more than I did at the start of my career. But the root of it was seeing all these guys who I idolised growing up wearing sunglasses.”

Harmer wouldn’t be asked to explain his thing for shades, and everything else about his career, if it wasn’t for Essex. Too much has been made of Harmer’s decision to go Kolpak with them in 2016, not least because he didn’t do himself any favours in justifying his move. Lost in that often spiteful conversation is the fact that English cricket has the resources and the focus to get the best out of players like no other arm of the global cricket industry.

That’s been true since Tony Greig left the Eastern Cape in the early 1970s as a distinctly ordinary allrounder and was transformed, by Sussex, into a daring, dashing captain who retired with a Test batting average of 40.43. Then came Allan Lamb, Chris and Robin Smith, and Kevin Pietersen. They were followed by Matt Prior and Jonathan Trott. None of them would likely have reached the heights they did had they remained loyal to South African cricket — not because they’re white but because the game in their country simply isn’t developed enough to find, nevermind keep, enough of its better players.

It used to be that apartheid-induced isolation prompted privileged players to look to England. Then Kolpak opened a door that was shut at the end of 2020, which would have come as a relief for CSA. The shoddy way cricket was being run in the country and the impact of the pandemic on the economy far beyond cricket have further shrunk the game in South Africa. If a clearer and more viable route to England existed, doubtless South Africans would be lining up to take it. 

“The English game, because of the funding, is comprised basically of international teams who operate at domestic level,” Harmer said. “At Essex, who I don’t think are up there with the highest-earning counties, it’s a 6,500-seater ground. But you have two physios at home games, you have a batting coach, bowling coach, head coach. You’ve got sports psychologists who come in for a certain number of days per year, you’ve got strength and conditioning people. It’s so much more professional.

“Coming into an environment like that made me realise I needed to raise my standards. Because I could see how these guys operated. It helped me rediscover what made me successful — be hardworking, find ways to get better and evolve as a cricketer. It all comes together in county cricket.

“There’s so much bad press going around about county cricket and how it’s causing English cricket to be this, that and the next thing. But from an outsider’s perspective and as a professional cricketer, they don’t know how good what they have here is. I fell in love with cricket again because of my time at Essex. It’s a lot deeper than just walking into a professional environment; it motivated me to want to be better and contribute more.”

Take a bow, county cricket and especially Essex, for giving back to South Africa a player who, at 33, is as close as he is going to get to complete. So close that he and Maharaj, who since his debut in November 2016 has taken more wickets for South Africa than everyone except Rabada, are mentioned in the same breath. Harmer doesn’t consider that a rivalry, a view backed by the frequent sight of him and Maharaj in close conversation as they walk across the training ground together.       

“There’s been chat around me versus him, but what about me and Keshav; not me versus Keshav? He’s done unbelievably well in international cricket. I don’t think anybody can question that. South Africa have traditionally gone in with a fast-bowling allrounder, and I think the discussion is now starting about a spin-bowling allrounder. It’s a hell of an opportunity.

“There is competition in terms of both of us pushing one another to be better. I don’t think I’m ever going to take ‘Kesh’s spot in the team. But I hope the way we train together and bowl together in games is naturally pushing one another to be better. You want to win Test matches, so there isn’t an element of me wanting to out-perform Keshav.

“Cricket is a performance-based sport, and there are going to be days when I do well and days when I do badly. I wouldn’t say there’s competition against one another, but it creates competition in our training that we’re always pushing one another to find ways to be better.”

Harmer probably didn’t think, when he said that, that South Africa would have shambled to 76/5 by the time he took guard at Old Trafford on Thursday. Or that Dean Elgar would be banking on him and Maharaj keeping the visitors in the game. That’s if the contest is alive come the fourth innings.

If it is, it could be a game made for an attacking off-spinner.

First published by Cricbuzz.

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A Malan for the ages, and he’s not Pieter or Janneman

In an age of determinedly single-minded cricketers, the reading, writing, thinking André Malan is a ray of hope.

TELFORD VICE in Cape Town

IF you’re born a Malan in South Africa, prepare to be prominent. World War II Royal Air Force fighter pilot Sailor Malan was a champion of human rights in a society where they remain unachieved thanks to the evil perpetrated by people like DF Malan, the first prime minister of the apartheid state, which went through its death throes while the supreme commander of the armed forces and defence minister was Magnus Malan. Riaan Malan is a mad, bad, dangerous to know writer and musician whose searing 1990 memoir, “My Traitor’s Heart”, remains arguably the best book yet published in this country and unarguably the best dealing with those dark days. If you want to know the truth of living and dying in South Africa then, read it.

Now we have Janneman Malan, smiter of a series-clinching century in Bloemfontein on Wednesday in only his second ODI. His career in the format started in Paarl on Saturday with his toe being crunched in front of his stumps courtesy of a wickedly swinging 143 kilometre-an-hour delivery from Mitchell Starc. That made Malan the only debutant dismissed by the first ball of a game. His evening ended with him limping off the field because of a cramping glute. Pieter Malan, his brother, has given Test cricket a pair of biceps each as big as both of Nathan Bracken’s thighs. That and six hours at the crease on debut against England at Newlands in January for his 84. Then there’s André Malan, still another brother, who has played 50 first-class matches, only one for a franchise rather than a second-tier provincial side. He has scored eight centuries in 80 innings and averages 38.95. His fast bowling has earned him 60 wickets, among them two five-wicket hauls, at 29.10. You mightn’t think that puts André in the league of Janneman and Pieter, much less Malans of the stature of Sailor and Riaan. But, in the early hours of Thursday morning, with the truth of Janneman’s unbeaten 129 shining too brightly to be consigned to memory, André took to social media and offered 1,318 blazing words that began: “No. Those two letters must have made a nest in his mind and haunted him as he went to rest in his hostel bed that night. But deep down he knew the truth. That when he gets his chance he will make the hairs on the back of whoever is fortunate enough to watch him go about his work stand up. He will provide them with so much joy and awe that they, too, will believe in achieving exceptional feats while making it look like a weekend jog around the block. That is what they do, the special ones. They make mere mortals feel invincible. They make them stand up when they are alone at home in front of the television and cheer as if they are there, in the colosseum. They make them go out in the yard and argue who gets to be who in the game that is about to be played. Theatre. Art.”

What was that fateful “No”? Janneman wasn’t originally part of the North West University squad picked to play in a T20 tournament in February 2015, even though he had scored 129 in a franchise cubs game three weeks earlier. By then he also had an undefeated 214 in an under-17 provincial match and 10 half-centuries to show for his 37 innings since the start of his under-13 provincial career. But his disappointment at being overlooked was eased when injury earned him a place in the varsity squad. Still, he had scored only 72 runs in four innings when he walked out with Wihan Lubbe to open the batting in the semi-final against Stellenbosch University. They put on 140 with Lubbe scoring 52 and Malan the last man out, with a ball left in the innings, for 99. He was one of three runout victims in an innings in which none of the other seven players who batted reached double figures. Stellenbosch reeled in their target of 178 with four wickets standing and an over to spare. But three innings later Malan hammered 140 in the national club championships, and less than three weeks after that he made his first century at senior level: 129 not out in a provincial one-day game. A first-class century, 174, came eight months hence. After 65 innings at that level he has scored nine more hundreds and averages 50.36. International prominence awaits.

It’s long since been achieved domestically. December 17, 2016 at Newlands will forever be a special day for the Malan brothers. First Pieter converted his overnight 51 not out into 117 before Western Province’s second innings declaration came. Then, in North West’s search for a target of 351, Janneman made 135 and André 103 not out. Pieter took the catch that snuffed out his brothers’ march toward a century stand at 89.

All three Malans now live in Cape Town. Pieter, the eldest, moved in September 2013 in search of better playing opportunities while Janneman, the youngest, was still at high school. Now André, his wife, Elzane, and Janneman share a house in the winelands.

None of which tells the Malans’ story nearly as well as André: “I met Janneman before he was born. Myself and Pieter incessantly whispered against our mother’s pregnant belly: ‘We are waiting for you. Hurry up so we can get playing.’ When the news came that he was born [in Nelspruit] at a healthy 4.1 kilogrammes we jumped for joy. Growing up he had to start off his backyard playing career by taking cover behind a big tree in our backyard when we were playing our cricket games. He soon got the go ahead from our insanely knowledgeable (about cricket and everything else) mother that he had outgrown the protection of the bark and was able to now fully compete in Suiderkruis Street 64’s sanctioned cricket games. Our youthful and loving father was the groundsman, umpire, first change bowler and sponsor. Janneman, barely five or so, bravely and enthusiastically strutted to the stumps when it was his turn to bat. Barely being able to look over his pads, he confidently asked for middle. Sooner rather than later the only middle at play was of the bat he was holding in his hands.”

As the words of a brother, they are blood rendered in ink. They are also sentiments of support that transcend even so strong a link. And they are damn fine words in their own right: “Here is where the special ones live. On that razor-thin line between order and chaos. Where they have to contend with the dragon of chaos that hoards the gold.”

To think English isn’t his first language. Or even his second. Like his brothers André is a native Afrikaans-speaker, and he grew up with Setswana also in his ears and his mouth. English is thus his third language. He also speaks isiXhosa. An avid reader of mostly non-fiction — “I said to myself if I’m going to read I might as well read something that’s going to help my studies, so I stopped reading fiction” — he enjoys writing about “incidents that transcend the ordinary”. Like his brother’s innings.

In an age of determinedly single-minded cricketers, who seem to only cricket know and, worse, appear uninterested in much else unless it’s going to make them money, André Malan is a ray of hope. He holds a bachelor of commerce degree in industrial psychology and labour relations and an honours in the former. “I’m also registered as a psychometrist. I’m not practising as one yet as I am just focusing on my cricket career for now.” His writing illuminates a keen interest in people, so it’s no surprise that he says, “I hope it humanises cricketers.” Might he consider taking up the pencil professionally? “Perhaps. When someone tells me I’m too old and terrible to contract anymore.” 

He’s 29, so that’s unlikely to happen for a few years yet. But he has a calling when he gives up the foolery of flanneldom: the Malans could use a few more Sailors to steer the family ship away from the wreckage wrought by monsters like Magnus and DF. Go get that dragon.

First published by Cricbuzz.

Questions for Quinton are others’ to answer

“It starts getting tough when you ask the boys for something and it just doesn’t happen.” – Quinton de Kock feels the cares of captaincy.

TELFORD VICE in Cape Town

TWO hours before the start of the third T20I between South Africa and Australia at Newlands on Wednesday, Steve Smith was in the nets; fidgeting and jerking and bobbing and weaving and itching and scratching his way through a session of throwdowns from Michael Hussey, whose arms gleamed with sunshine and sweat as he let fly with grooved grace. How Smith manages to middle the ball so often and with such pointed power despite looking as if he is facing grenades lobbed at him from the other side of a busy highway is a miracle of the modern game.

Simultaneously, two nets away, Robin Peterson provided the same service to Faf du Plessis, who seemed happier than he has been in weeks. Calm at the crease is at the core of Du Plessis’ game. The storm after that calm is a tautly controlled explosion of mind and muscle, and all over in an eyeblink. With Du Plessis’ every emphatic dismissal of the flung offerings into the roof of the net, Peterson smiled the smile he couldn’t smile while Brian Lara was taking 28 runs off one of his overs, the last of the day, at the Wanderers in December 2014. Watching Smith and Du Plessis separately from the distance of the boundary cannot capture the vast contrast between their approaches. Watching them at close quarters and separated only by the width of a net is as close to sensory overload as cricket should be allowed to get.  

Once Smith and Du Plessis were opposing captains, steering two of cricket’s greatest ships. Now they are opponents only, each looking to do their best for their team.

Smith got that right on Wednesday after coming in with 30 balls left in the innings. He faced half of them and hit an unbeaten 30 — all of 20 in a last over bowled by Anrich Nortjé, whose economy rate for the match boomed from 8.67 to 11.5 in the process — that took Australia to 193/5. Du Plessis’ boundaryless five off seven balls was far from the only failure in a gutless batting display that was put out of its misery at 15.3 overs with only 96 runs scored — the second time in three games that South Africa have been shot out for fewer than 100. The team who had fought back from nowhere to win at St George’s Park on Sunday had vanished. Instead South Africa were again the side who were utterly without fight at the Wanderers on Friday. Why had they chosen to field first, like they had in Johannesburg, when they were so much better at defending in Port Elizabeth? Did the fact that they had beaten England in the first ODI at Newlands despite batting under lights at a ground were that is famously difficult — only nine sides have won batting second in the 33 day/night ODIs there — influence their thinking too much? South Africa were able to bat for two hours before sunset against England and for less than half-an-hour against Australia. When darkness descended fully against England, South Africa had nine wickets in hand and needed only 94 more runs off the remaining 20 overs: an asking rate of 4.7. Against Australia, night arrived with the South Africans two down and requiring 153 off 15: 10.2 an over. Crucially, by then Quinton de Kock was out. Against England he batted into the 36th over for his 107. The comparisons only become more painful — at the Wanderers on Friday, De Kock was bowled by the third ball of the innings, a sniping outswinger from Mitchell Starc. At Newlands on Wednesday, De Kock was bowled by the fourth ball of the innings, another sniping outswinger from Starc.

But it would be unfair to pick on South Africa’s captain, even if it is his job to explain what had gone so wrong for his team for the second time in six days: “I’m not really sure because I’m not in the other batsmen’s minds.” Was that anger? No-one has scored more runs than De Kock in five of South Africa’s last six series across the formats. And they haven’t won any of them. Who could blame De Kock if he was growing resentful at doing more than his fair share of the batting and, despite that, the team having nothing to show for his efforts? Can the rest of you pull your weight already, dammit? But players aren’t supposed to ask those questions, and certainly not when they’re also the captain. Or are they? “It starts getting tough when you ask the boys for something and it just doesn’t happen,” De Kock said.

He had arrived for his press conference looking like a country song: his truck had been stolen, his dog had died, his wife had left him. Surely. Six minutes later he sauntered out, still sad-eyed. Aaron Finch swanned in fresh from a Broadway musical, sat down and immediately made himself useful. “Do you want that up a little bit, mate,” he asked a camera person in the scrum whose microphone on the top table had drooped. “Yeah. Thanks mate,” came the reply. Finch duly did the needful. Then he provided a sound check: “One, two, three, one, two three … hello?” He was even of service explaining the South Africans’ failure to launch: “Anytime you’re chasing 10s from the start, it’s so hard. When [the pitch is] going to get slower and slower and our spinners have been super accurate … whether you lose by one run or a hundred doesn’t make much difference. It’s all about risk and reward, and when that runrate goes up it’s so hard. You know you’ve got to try and preserve a couple of wickets but if you have two bad overs the rate goes to 15.”

Nice try, Mr Finch, but South Africa’s problems have leapt from the physical to the metaphysical. Why did dangerous players like Andile Phehlukwayo and Jon-Jon Smuts get only one game against the Aussies? Why did the consistently underwhelming Dwaine Pretorius play two? What has happened to South Africa’s technique and temperament against spin? They averaged 9.62 facing Ashton Agar and Adam Zampa, who took 13 of the 24 wickets that fell to Australia’s six bowlers. Where has the bowling and fielding discipline gone? After the first six overs of Australia’s innings on Wednesday, Kagiso Rabada, Anrich Nortjé, Lungi Ngidi and Pretorius were all sailing at two runs per ball, not least because their support in the field reduced them to trying to catch water in a colander.

Deep in the darkness of Wednesday night at Newlands, long after the match had been won and lost, two starkly different figures, as players and as people, would have been united on one front: the relief that they no longer needed to explain the why and wherefore of poor performances by the teams they play for to themselves, the press or anyone else. 

Freed from that yoke, Smith and Du Plessis have better things to with their time. Like take to the nets hours before the start of a game. And bat as if their lives do not depend on it.

First published by Cricbuzz.

England make history, and earn chance to make more

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TELFORD VICE in London

ENGLAND made men’s World Cup history at Edgbaston on Thursday, and earned the chance to do so again at Lord’s on Sunday.

Chris Woakes and Adil Rashid shared six wickets before Jason Roy hammered 85, 66 of them in fours and sixes, to earn the English victory over the Aussies by eight wickets with 17.5 overs to spare in their semi-final — and with it a crack at New Zealand in Sunday’s final at Lord’s.

Australia lost a semi for the first time, and new champions will be crowned this year: England have been to three finals and the New Zealanders to one, but neither have won the trophy.

England were last in the final in 1992, when they were beaten by Pakistan, and New Zealand lost out to Australia four years ago.

Eoin Morgan’s side reduced Australia to 14/3 inside seven overs before Steve Smith and Alex Carey put the innings back on track with a stand of 103.

Carey was four not out when he was struck on the grille of his helmet by Jofra Archer, a blow that lacerated the Australian’s chin.

After receiving treatment he batted on until the 28th over, when he was caught at deep midwicket off Rashid for 46.

Smith marshalled stands of 39 with Glenn Maxwell and 51 with Mitchell Starc before he was run out for 85 in the 48th trying to take a bye.

Woakes took 3/20 off eight overs with Rashid claiming 3/54 from his full quota.

England’s triumph was all but sealed in an opening stand of 174 by Roy and Jonny Bairstow — who have the highest average of all first-wicket pairs in one-day international history.

Bairstow, who needed treatment after collapsing with an apparent leg injury in the 12th over, recovered to score 34 before being trapped in from by Starc in the 18th.

That was Starc’s 27th wicket of the tournament, which broke the World Cup record set by another Australian, Glenn McGrath, in 2007.

A dozen balls later Roy was given out caught behind by Kumar Dharmasena after sparring at a legside delivery from Pat Cummins.

Replays showed the ball had hit neither bat nor glove, but Roy couldn’t be granted a reprieve because Bairstow had used England’s review after he was given out.

Roy stood his ground and remonstrated with Dharmasena and his colleague, Marais Erasmus, who had to convince the English to leave the crease.

“Fucking embarrassing,” Roy, who faced 65 balls and hit nine fours and five sixes, could clearly be heard saying on television as he left the scene.

His dismissal did nothing to derail his team’s impending success, and Joe Root and Eoin Morgan took England home with an unbroken stand of 79.

The Australians have been to seven World Cup finals and won five of them.

The closest they came to going down at the penultimate hurdle before Thursday’s game was their 1999 semi against South Africa, which was tied.

That match was also played at Edgbaston, where Australia last won in July 2001 — 15 matches ago in all formats.

Du Plessis wants Gibson to carry on – even without him

“What’s my purpose going forward? Is it still playing all three formats for South Africa?” – Faf du Plessis

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TELFORD VICE in Manchester

GAMES that don’t mean anything aren’t often preceded by press conferences as important as Faf du Plessis’ turn out to be on Friday.

There’s nothing on the line for South Africa in their men’s World Cup game against Australia at Old Trafford on Saturday, besides bidding farewell to JP Duminy and Imran Tahir — who are retiring from the format after the tournament.

That done, Du Plessis’ side will leave England with South Africa’s worst ever World Cup performance in their luggage.

Only once before, in 2003, have they crashed out in the opening round. But never have they done so before playing all of their group games, which is the case this time — they have lost five of their seven completed matches.   

The Aussies will finish on top of the log if they win on Saturday, which will set up a semi-final against fourth-placed New Zealand.

None of which was relevant during much of Du Plessis’ interaction with the press on Friday.

For instance, what were his thoughts on Ottis Gibson’s future?

“I would really want Ottis to stay on,” Du Plessis said. “As coach and captain we have a very good relationship, so I hope so.

“There’s a T20 World Cup next year in October and November in Australia and both of us planned to be there for that and this World Cup, because they are close together. That’s still how I see it.  

“One of the challenges with a new coach is that he needs time to build relationships. It takes time and energy to build a relationship with a new coach.

“I’ve invested a lot in Ottis and he’s invested a lot in me for us to learn to know each other, and for him to build a relationship with the other players.

“The question is, naturally, when does a new coach come in, because there is never an ideal time. But I want Ottis to stay on.”

Du Plessis might find himself at odds with Cricket South Africa (CSA) chief executive Thabang Moroe, who has said Gibson would have to win the title of take the team to the final to keep his job.

The issue will come up for discussion at CSA’s board meeting on July 20.

By then, the suits might also have to consider who to appoint as South Africa’s new captain and senior batter.

“My plan was to commit fully to the World Cup and not even think of anything else further because I didn’t want my mind to start drifting into the future,” Du Plessis said.

“I wanted to be completely present in this World Cup.

“Right now is possibly not the best time to be making decisions because you are disappointed.

“I won’t say emotional, but you don’t want to be in this mode when you are making career decisions.

“So, for me, it will be a case of taking some time off and reflecting what does the future look like for me as well.

“What’s my purpose going forward? Is it still playing all three formats for South Africa?

“Those are the things that I would need to consider.

“Probably two or three weeks after this tournament, [I will have] a real look at that and seeing what the future holds for me over the next year or two years.”

Today’s match will mark the first time South Africa play Australia since the return to the latter’s ranks of Steve Smith and David Warner, who were banned for ball-tampering during the Newlands Test in March last year.

“I think any player as good as the two of them who gets taken away from playing at the highest stage will come back extremely motivated,” Du Plessis said.

“And I think you can see that the two of them are and they are doing well and scoring runs.”

Warner has scored two centuries and three half-centuries at the World Cup, with Smith passing 50 three times.

Their performances, and Aaron Finch’s two tons and three 50s and Mitchell Starc taking 24 wickets at an economy rate of 5.01, are the big reasons Australia are where they are in this tournament. 

South Africa’s rubber against Australia dead as Monty Python’s parrot

Played eight, won two would be a bearable scoreline if South Africa had played to their potential. Instead they’ve done just the opposite.

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TELFORD VICE in Crewe

SELDOM in South Africa’s bitter and twisted relationship with Australia has a match meant so little as the game they will play at Old Trafford on Saturday.

Let no-one fool anyone: this rubber is as dead as Monty Python’s parrot.

Nevertheless, the first team to qualify for the men’s World Cup semi-finals and the first side to crash out of the running will have to go through the motions.

There’s little for South Africa to achieve beyond bidding farewell to JP Duminy and Imran Tahir, who have confirmed they will retire after the tournament.

And who knows who else. It’s been a shocking few weeks for Faf du Plessis’ team, who wouldn’t be human if they weren’t wondering whether there was a better way to earn a living.

Played eight, won two would be a bearable scoreline if South Africa had fulfilled their potential. Instead they’ve done just the opposite, and in all departments.

In that sense they’re the opposite of Bangladesh, who also arrived at the tournament as middleweight contenders and are also going home after the first round with only two wins.

But they will return to the appreciation of fans who have cheered them to victory over South Africa and West Indies, and who may well be able to do so in the match against Pakistan at Lord’s on Friday.

South Africa will go back to, at best, silence. More likely they will be met by a tsunami of anger that has been building for a more than a month, by questions about how things could have gone quite as badly as they have, and for calls for sweeping change.

We’ve raked the muck to mush by now, but the broad strokes are that the batting had no backbone, the pace bowling was shattered by injuries, and the fielding fell apart at key stages.

The senior players were conspicuous by the absence of the example they should have set, and not enough of the youngsters stepped up well enough to fill the void. 

Other than all that, South Africa were pretty much perfect. 

It doesn’t help that England is not a good place to be when England are doing well, and even less so when they have resurrected their campaign — as they did by beating India at Edgbaston on Sunday and New Zealand at the Riverside on Wednesday to seal a spot in the semis.

Suddenly all the theories about what their losses to Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Australia meant for the bigger picture have been replaced by reasons why they are going to go all the way.

“We must stick to our mantra the whole time and not actually be cagey, or desperate,” England captain Eoin Morgan said in the afterglow of Wednesday’s win.

The last time Morgan spoke about mantras, after the defeat by Australia at Lord’s last Tuesday, he was derided. Now he’s a guru.

So obsessed are the English with the fact that England have reached the final four for the first time since 1992 that the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) have sent out an SOS to members, imploring them to buy tickets for the Bangladesh-Pakistan game.

As things stood on Wednesday evening the pavilion would be only half-full for Friday’s match, which prompted MCC chief executive Guy Lavender to fire off a strongly-worded letter.

“Members may recall the ICC women’s World Cup final in 2017, when unfavourable comparisons were made between the number of members in the Pavilion and full stands in the rest of the ground,” Lavender wrote, according the Guardian.

“This is damaging to MCC’s global reputation and the committee is determined to avoid a repetition of these images on Friday.”  

It’s almost a pleasant distraction to marvel at the Australians, and how they have recovered from the ball-tampering scandal.

India are the only team who have beaten them, and victory No. 8 seems set to follow on Saturday.

Mitchell Starc is the tournament’s leading bowler with 24 wickets — twice as many as Chris Morris, South Africa’s most successful bowler — at an average of 15.54 and an economy rate of 5.01.

David Warner has found the time to score two centuries and three half-centuries, and to be with his wife, Candice Warner, for the birth of their third daughter.

“We’ve always spoken about peaking towards the back end of the tournament, and we’re still searching for that perfect performance,” Starc told reporters after Australia’s last triumph, against New Zealand at Lord’s on Saturday, when he took 5/26 in a total of 157.

“We’re not quite there yet. We’re showing glimpses of what we are capable of with the ball and with the bat and in the field, but we have still got room to improve.

“And if we can do that … Obviously we have to make the final first, but if we can play our best game … well, we’ve got to play our best game in the semi now and hopefully better that in the final, and that’s what tournament play is all about.”

South Africa? They’re not part of this conversation.

Du Plessis, Miller seal SA’s series success, Rabada behaves

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TELFORD VICE in London

FAF du Plessis took himself seriously to help David Miller guide South Africa to victory in their one-day series against Australia in Hobart on Sunday.

A slew of records were set in a third ODI in which the visitors put up 320/5 before restricting the Australians to 280/9 to claim the spoils by 40 runs for a 2-1 series success.

On Friday, after Australia levelled the rubber with a seven-run win in Adelaide, not least by reducing South Africa to 68/4 on their way to a total of 224/9, Du Plessis made plain his unhappiness: “We let ourselves down with the bat, [I’m] very disappointed. We needed one more batter to stay with Dave.”

On Sunday, Du Plessis was that batsman, scoring 125 in a stand of 252 with Miller, who made 139.

South Africa’s total marked the first time they had topped 300 in the 39 ODIs they have played against the Aussies in Australia, and the partnership was the biggest yet made against the not so mellow yellow fellows in all 919 games they have played in the format.

The stand rescued an innings that teetered at 55/3 in the 16th over. It endured for 33 overs but also had its moments.

It might have been ended in the 27th when Du Plessis, on 29, late cut Glenn Maxwell and wicketkeeper Alex Carey failed to latch onto the edge.

In the 33rd Miller was given out leg-before by Aleem Dar to Maxwell for 41. After a lengthy mid-pitch consultation, Du Plessis signalled for the referral. But, according to the regulations, only the relevant batsman can send the decision upstairs. Miller then made his own, albeit far less emphatic, T sign.

And a good thing, too, for South Africa: replays showed the ball would have sailed over the top of leg stump.   

More than half the partnership — 148 — was struck in fours and sixes by a pair of batsmen who showed exactly the kind of controlled aggression their team will need if they are to challenge for next year’s World Cup in England.  

Mitchell Starc earned a record all of his own. His last over, in which Du Plessis smashed him over mid-off for six and Miller hammered a hattrick of fours through mid-off, midwicket and square leg, went for 20 runs: Starc’s most expensive over in his 75 ODIs.

Australia made a shaky start to their reply when Chris Lynn, who has batted at No. 4 in his other three ODIs, was bumped up the order to open, tried to drive Dale Steyn’s first ball, and jerked his head backwards to see Quinton de Kock dive and take the catch.

The Aussies were 39/3 when Marcus Stoinis joined Shaun Marsh to add 107. 

Stoinis slapped Dwaine Pretorius to backward point to go for 63 in the 30th, but Marsh made it all the way to 106 — clipped off 102 balls with seven fours and four sixes — before he skied Pretorius into the deep, where Heinrich Klaasen held on. 

With Marsh’s exit in the 42nd over when Australia’s hopes of achieving what would have been only their third win in the 13 ODIs they have played in 2018.

South Africa’s bowlers, who more than did their bit in the first two games, were overshadowed by their batsmen for a change.

But it didn’t hurt that Steyn claimed 3/45 and that Kagiso Rabada took 3/40, both from all 10 their overs.

Better yet, Rabada — who courted trouble in Adelaide by giving Lynn an aggressive verbal send-off — stayed on the straight and narrow.

Aussies go home, but first a beer

“We have to improve our behaviour in the way we play the game.” – Tim Paine

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TELFORD VICE in Cape Town

AFTER more than a month in South Africa playing a Test series that in important ways was more taxing than even the Ashes, Australia would have been forgiven for looking forward to going home.

Instead, after everything that’s happened they might want to head for Mauritius or the Seychelles.

Or anywhere but Melbourne or Sydney, or other places where they will encounter Australians asking them what had gone so badly wrong.

But their captain, Tim Paine, is ready for exactly that: “We’ve maybe had our head in the sand a little bit over the last 12 months [thinking] if we continue to win we can kind of act and behave how we like and the Australian public will be OK with that.

“What we’ve probably found out in the past month or so is that the Australian public and our fans don’t necessarily like the way we go about it.

“It’s pretty simple — we have to listen.

“We have to take it on board and we have to improve our behaviour in the way we play the game.”

And not only because Australia relinquished the lead in a rubber they ended up losing 3-1.

“At the moment there is a fair bit of disappointment and borderline embarrassment in the dressingroom,” Paine said.

He spoke at the Wanderers shortly before noon on Tuesday, minutes after his team had been thrashed by 492 runs in the fourth Test.

That was the fourth-biggest win, in terms of runs, in Test history and it sealed South Africa’s first series win over the Aussies in this country in 48 years.

To think Australia had arrived boasting the world’s No. 1 ranked batsman who was also their captain, a quality attack, and a hard-nosed coach. They leave in tatters.

Steve Smith has been relieved of the captaincy and banned for a year for his part in the ball-tampering scandal that exploded during the third Test at Newlands and escalated into a super nova of outrage.

Mitchell Starc, the leader of the attack, will be out for months with a stress fracture of the tibia.

Darren Lehmann, a man of gruff, forthright confidence, was reduced to tears when he announced that the Wanderers Test would be his last as coach, also because of the ball-tampering disaster.

But the biggest difference between the side who arrived in South Africa and the one leaving is David Warner, who got off the plane as vice-captain and has, like Smith, been banished.

Warner was the mastermind behind the ball-tampering plot that cost him, Smith and Cameron Bancroft their places in the team and turned them into, officially and indelibly, cheats.

He is the embodiment of the uncompromising, often unfair style of play Australia have championed for too long.

Now, with everybody including the prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull, questioning a previously vaunted team culture, the Warner way leads straight out of the door.

“We have to find the fine line between being really respectful of the opposition and the game and also being at a level that is really competitive, as you should be in Test match cricket,” Paine said.

“It’s going to be a different style to what a lot of the guys are used to but once the new coach comes in and has his say we will go to it straightaway.”

Australia have been the ugliest team in cricket for decades, although with Warner not in their midst at the Wanderers they did soften to a degree that even Dean Elgar found “odd”.

The crusty opening batsman no doubt asking a few pointed questions about that after the Aussies knocked on South Africa’s dressingroom door on Tuesday.

“We’ve been invited in in the next half an hour, actually,” Paine said. “It’s an early beer, that’s for sure; it might be a coffee, but we’ll go next door.

“We’ve got some young players in our team who will learn a lot from going to have a beer with some of the experienced players that the South Africans have got, so we’d be foolish not to take that opportunity.”

After the Newlands Test, South Africa coach Ottis Gibson bemoaned the fact that the teams had not yet shared a drink — as they had after every match of India’s tour earlier in the summer.

That done, Paine said he and his team would look forward to “a clean slate”.

“It’s an exciting time. We’ll have a new coach, a new brand or culture or whatever you want to call it and guys are going to have a chance to have an input into that.

“As well as with the guys being out at the moment there are opportunities for guys to step up during that period of Test cricket.

“It will be good to get home, have a rest and think about it.”

And there’s plenty for the Aussies to think about.

Like, if South Africans ask you over for a beer, whatever time it is they sure as hell don’t mean coffee. 

Time stands still for some, but not Markram

Markram’s 143 was a properly South African century, equal parts blood and guts and glory.

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TELFORD VICE in Kingsmead

IT was 11.19am on Sunday everywhere except on Kingsmead’s scoreboard, which was making a furious attempt to turn back time.

Out on the field AB de Villiers was trudging back to the dressingroom having been dismissed without putting bat to ball, or perhaps even thought to brain.

But in video footage on the scoreboard’s big screen he was in rapid reverse, scurrying backward towards the middle from whence he had come, perchance to resume an innings that had not quite begun.

There was no fake news in the rest of what onlookers could glean. South Africa were indeed 39/3 inside the first hour of their journey towards the 417 they needed to beat Australia in the first test.

And that really was De Villiers, the only player who looked like he knew what he was doing in an otherwise dismal first innings, exiting stage left.

De Villiers’ unbeaten 71 had comprised almost half South Africa’s total of 162. In the second dig he was run out having faced a solitary ball after calling Aiden Markram for a single backward of short leg; a run that never was, especially as the fielder who swooped was David Warner.

It was De Villiers’ call, but Markram was correct to send him back. De Villiers slipped as he turned and was more than a metre short of his ground when Warner’s throw smacked into Nathan Lyon’s hands and the bails tumbled.

“David Warner’s one of the best fielders in the world and as soon as I saw it was him I didn’t think it was a run,” Markram said after stumps.

“It happened really quickly in the heat of the moment.”

“It wasn’t nice to be at the other end watching AB get run out.”

Maybe Markram should get used to it, because that was De Villiers’ 14th involvement in a runout in test cricket. Only Jacques Kallis, who featured in 15, has been a victim more often in a South Africa shirt. Thing is, Kallis had 95 more innings than De Villiers.

At his dismissal, the Australians whipped themselves into a wild, whooping whirlwind with Warner visceral in his raw yawping. Had he done something like that on a public street, an ambulance would have been called. Or the police. Or even a vet who knows how to do deal with random cases of rabies.

Then the Australians turned on Markram.

“We spoke to Aiden about running out the best player in his team and one of the best players in the world,” wicketkeeper Tim Paine explained with scarcely believable politeness.

“We were just trying to get him off his game.

“It didn’t work.”

Hell no it didn’t. Indeed Markram said he relished that part of the challenge: “It’s something I certainly don’t mind, something that really keeps me in the game; keeps me going, keeps me motivated.

“It’s how the game should be played and it makes success that bit more rewarding.

“What happened did affect me, and you hear every word out on the field.”

“It’ll keep coming for the rest of the series but I enjoy it.”

There was a lot for Markram to enjoy. At one point of this death in the afternoon Mitchell Starc egged on a baying crowd with hand gestures that said “bring it” as he walked back to his mark at the Umgeni End. One member of that crowd was waving at him, with clear malevolence, an inflatable sheep.

Even so it seemed no-one could keep South Africa in the game after the thorn De Villiers represented was drawn from Australia’s paw.

But Markram, with the help of Theunis de Bruyn and Quinton de Kock, played an innings of wonder, a thing that stirred something in South Africans’ blood that they last felt … who knows when.

It moved Ali Bacher enough for him to call, unsolicited, a reporter in the pressbox and gush with praise for a young man he put in the league of Kallis and Barry Richards.

For all the elegance he showed, the essence of Markram’s innings was captured in consecutive deliveries bowled to him by Pat Cummins, the fifth and sixth he faced after reaching his century.

The first clanged him on the helmet, close enough to the gloves he rose in defiant defence to prompt the Aussies to send their unsuccessful appeal for caught behind to the third umpire.

Having had the temerity not to be dismissed by that delivery, Markram was immediately punished by a brutish ball that smashed into his front elbow, which promptly swelled up lumpily and looked as if an octopus had taken rude residence under the skin of his forearm.

After receiving treatment on the field, he batted on. Of course he did.

It was a properly South African century, equal parts blood and guts and glory.

And it was ended by a thoroughly South African moment of dofness. Paine was standing up to Mitchell Marsh, who found the edge as Markram tried to run a delivery down to third man.

Why that? Why then?

“It was a little bit loose, a little bit out of my game plan,” Markram admitted. “Often that costs you your wicket.”

It did. Paine took a fine catch and the fairytale that was Markram’s 143, and the stand of 147 he shared with a magnificently resolute De Kock, was over.

After that drama came the farce. Starc removed Vernon Philander, Keshav Maharaj and Kagiso Rabada in five balls to reduce South Africa to 290/9 and to earn a crack at a hat-trick.

Trouble was, fading light forced the Australians to resort to spin from both ends just to stay on the park.

So spectators were treated to South Africa’s last pair, De Kock and Morne Morkel, doing their best to do as little as possible at the crease and the Australians doing the best to balance the conflict of interests that was winning on Sunday and prolonging the game until Monday morning — when Starc could let fly again, surely with the new nut.

For the second time on Sunday, and until the umpires called a halt in Kingsmead’s first (unofficially) day/night test at 5.54pm, time itself marked time.