SA bowlers go where batters don’t to earn ODI series lead

South Africa have scored faster than a run-a-ball only four times in their last 100 ODIs.

Telford Vice / Cape Town

BEFORE Friday, South Africa had last played a men’s ODI against England in Bloemfontein in February 2016. How had the teams’ games developed in the ensuing almost seven years, the good burghers of Bloem might have asked as they settled onto the grass banks and eyed the Barmy Army in all its awkward, incongruous Englishness.

The home supporters wouldn’t have liked the answer to the question that unfolded in the first innings. But they would have been relieved that not everything had changed: South Africa could still bowl their way out of trouble. Their win, by 27 runs, was unlikely for much of the match and needs to be followed by several others.

Four more victories will be required against England and the Netherlands in the coming weeks if Temba Bavuma’s team are to focus directly on the World Cup in India in October and November, and not on the qualifying tournament in Zimbabwe in June and July. Ifs and buts involving Sri Lanka and Ireland could complicate the equation, but not if South Africa keep winning.
They will have their next opportunity to do so on Sunday, also in Bloemfontein and also against England. But in a day game, which should mean a touch more life in the pitch early in the piece than was the case in Friday’s day/nighter.  

England have played 115 ODIs since that 2016 game. They have scored faster than a run-a-ball over the course of an innings in all but six of them, and they last dipped below that mark in June 2016. Along the way they deservedly reached the 2019 World Cup final, where they were awarded the trophy despite a tie with New Zealand.

In South Africa’s 100 games, they’ve scored more than six runs an over just four times — all of them between February 2016 and February 2017. That’s as stark an illustration as could be found of these teams’ opposite directions of travel.

The trend continued on Friday. South Africa squandered a sound start on a perfect batting pitch to total 298/7. Conditions became less inclined towards run-scoring as the ball softened, but that didn’t adequately explain the home side taking almost seven overs to get to three figures after reaching 75/1 after 10. They scored just 28 more runs in the second half of their innings compared to the first, even though they had seven wickets standing going into the second 25 overs.

That was despite Rassie van der Dussen making 111 and sharing 110 off 101 with David Miller, who scored 53. Van der Dussen, a player built for storms rather than sunshine, was at his flinty best once the surface had lost its early willingness and begun begrudging runs. That didn’t suit Miller, but he endured in a stand that lasted from the 31st over into the 48th — prime time to launch a total well north of 300.

Except that South Africa, not for the first time, failed to launch. Some short deliveries climbed and others squatted, but champion batters find ways of overcoming those challenges. They don’t merely live with them. The South African who showed the greatest sense of urgency was Bavuma, whose 36 off 28 as an opener represented his team’s batting unit’s only strike rate higher than 100. 

South Africa were able to hit only 120 of their total — just more than 40% — in fours and sixes despite Bloemfontein’s famously spacious boundaries being drawn in significantly. England got away with 43% of the innings in dot balls.

Jofra Archer, who played his first match for England since March 2021, sent down more scoreless deliveries than any of England’s other bowlers: 30. But his return of 1/81 was also his most expensive in his 18 ODIs. He went for 10 or more in four of his overs, and in one of them for 20. That said, Archer bowled well within himself, clearly feeling his way back into the game after so long out with injuries.

The accurate, slippery Sam Curran made life more difficult for the South Africans than the rest of England’s attack. He was rewarded with the wickets of Quinton de Kock, Van der Dussen and Miller at the handsome economy rate of 3.88.

The last thing South Africa needed after that was for England to hit the ground running in their reply, which is exactly what Jason Roy and Dawid Malan did in an opening partnership of 146 off 118 that seemed to set the tone for a thumping victory for the visitors.

There was poetry in Sisanda Magala breaking the stranglehold. In his second over, the 20th, his bouncer flummoxed Malan, who contrived to pull a catch to mid-off and go for 59. Magala, a proven performer at domestic level, has struggled with fitness issues and poor discipline on the international stage — he sent down three wides and two no-balls in each of the other two ODIs in which he has bowled. He was the last of the six bowlers Bavuma used on Friday. And the best.

Magala followed his removal of Malan by trapping Harry Brook in front with a sniping inswinger and having Moeen Ali caught in the deep with a brisk short delivery. His 3/46 from nine overs marked the first time he had taken more than one wicket in an ODI and the first time he had gone for fewer than a run a ball. It was also the first time his confidence has shone through so emphatically.

But while Magala was showing he belonged, Roy appeared to be winning the match. He stayed until the 30th over for his bristling, bustling 91-ball 113, the only time he has passed 50 in 32 innings of any sort save for a T10 half-century in Abu Dhabi in November. Roy’s 11th ODI century means only Joe Root, Eoin Morgan and Marcus Trescothick have scored more ODI hundreds for England, all with the benefit of significantly more innings than Roy.

Roy’s dismissal fell between those of Brook and Moeen, but while England still had Jos Buttler they had control of the game. That changed in 37th, when Anrich Nortjé speared a shortish delivery on the line of off stump. Buttler, cramped for room to guide the ball to deep third, was caught behind for 36. It was the second strike in Nortjé’s haul of 4/62, which was key to South Africa claiming all 10 of England’s wickets for 125 in 25 overs.

South Africa’s disastrous T20 World Cup, when they crashed out ignominiously by losing to the Netherlands, was followed by a flaccid Test series in Australia, where only rain in Sydney spared them a 3-0 whitewash. International cricket itself has been diminished and dulled by the booming positivity of the SA20, which has given South Africans rare reasons to be cheerful about just about anything.

Friday’s gritty win, South Africa’s first in three ODIs and for all England’s batting progress their fourth consecutive loss, will remedy that situation. But the good burghers of Bloemfontein and the Barmy Army alike went to bed knowing that could change on Sunday.

Cricbuzz

Join my Mailchimp audience

By clicking submit, you agree to share your email address with the site owner and Mailchimp to receive marketing, updates, and other emails from the site owner. Use the unsubscribe link in those emails to opt out at any time.

Processing…

Success! You're on the list.

Whoops! There was an error and we couldn't process your subscription. Please reload the page and try again.

Snapshots from a contest long since decided

The day’s play ended as it began: with England’s players, trophy stumps held high, applauding the Barmy Army.

TELFORD VICE at The Wanderers

AFTER 1,508 deliveries of seam, we saw spin for the first time in the match. But only for three overs: five of Joe Root’s offerings were dismissed for four, another for six. Another 126 balls of seam were bowled before Root resorted to Joe Denly, the poor person’s part-time leg spinner, who somehow — half-trackers, full tosses and all — escaped with only 19 runs being taken off his three overs.

On days like Monday at the Wanderers, it’s the little things that stick in the memory. Like the England slip cordon applauding Billy Cooper, the Barmy Army’s trumpet player, after he provided the accompaniment for the morning’s rendition of Jerusalem. And the Army, after tea, repeatedly serenading Cooper with: “There’s only one Billy Trumpet!” Sadly, Monday was Cooper’s last day among them. He is hanging up his horn for good.

And Rassie van der Dussen inventing a dance move — let’s call it the squashed paperclip — to deal with a short delivery from Chris Woakes — and ending up on his back. And Van der Dussen wearing, willingly, a 141 kilometre-an-hour delivery from Mark Wood on the chest. And coming within two runs of scoring what would not only have been his first century but also the first scored against England in the fourth innings of a Wanderers Test. Instead he equalled the record Herschelle Gibbs set in January 2005.

And Vernon Philander walking out to bat, torn hamstring and all, at the fall of the sixth wicket, with no hope of the 227 needed for victory being scored, to do right by his team in his last few minutes — 13, as it turned out — as a Test cricketer. Because that’s what pros do.

And Faf du Plessis leaping in reaction to a ball from Wood that reared off a length. The handle of Du Plessis’ bat, which he promptly dropped, got the job done. But, after returning to earth with his footing unsure, he almost shambled onto his stumps.

And Du Plessis jumping again facing Stokes, and the ball again smashing into the handle, and the bat snapping at its splice. And, immediately after that, Sam Curran’s throw hitting Du Plessis on the pads. And Jos Buttler and Du Plessis putting themselves, directly and provocatively, in each other’s paths as South Africa’s captain headed towards Stuart Broad. Buttler stopped in the same way that a football defender does when he knows an oncoming attacker can’t help but clatter into him. Buttler and Du Plessis collided at the shoulder, and Du Plessis continued on his way to shove a finger in Broad’s face to punctuate some apparently choice words. Seven balls later Du Plessis played on to Stokes and fumed off the field at least as angrily as Daddles the duck. Well done, messrs. Buttler and Broad.

Why the snapshots? Because this contest was decided while Wood and Broad and Broad were hammering 82, a Wanderers record for the last wicket, on Saturday. Everything that happened after that was a prelude to England clinching their series victory as convincingly as they did. Even the three hours and one minute that passed between the dismissals of Dean Elgar and Du Plessis on Monday — when the feeling that, with the help of a miracle or 12, South Africa might just do something outrageous gained a toehold — couldn’t change that.

England deserved nothing less. They came to South Africa as a team that few trusted to be able to knuckle down and deliver, and they proved otherwise. For South Africa, who have lost eight of their last nine Tests, the only way is up. That’s once they work out which way up is. They have enlisted important people to say important things, but so far they have done precious little that can be held up as an achievement.

The day’s play ended as it began: with England’s players, all of them this time, trophy stumps held high, applauding the Barmy Army. It was not an ounce of comfort for the silently, sadly watching South Africans to know that, days from now, many of England’s supporters will have bid their golden sunshine goodbye and surrendered to the grimmest days of England’s winter. They will take with them memories of warmth and friendliness and beer so comparatively cheap it might as well have been given away. Please come again. But not until South Africa have remembered who they are and how they used to play cricket.

First published by Cricbuzz.

When first world elephants are threatened, third world grass suffers

How will Ben Stokes learn his lesson if he keeps being let off the hook?

TELFORD VICE at The Wanderers

BARRELING down the non-existent pavements of Corlett Drive in time to secure a decent seat at the Wanderers on the first day of a Test is challenging enough at the best of times. But exponentially more so when three large buses bulging with England supporters sweep past, park bang in front of the main entrance, and start disgorging their contents. How to avoid the sluggish mass pondering whether they have sufficient stocks of sunscreen and moaning about about the unlikelihood of being able to procure a bacon buttie — that’s a sandwich to the rest of us — anywhere this side of Milton Keynes as they shamble towards the main gate?

It helps if you’re from the third world. The relevant half of Corlett Drive is closed for the duration of the fourth Test. So what’s to stop anyone from walking down the middle of the street, safe in the knowledge that no car will harm them? And doing so far faster than the horde oozing along the pavement? Of course, few self-respecting citizens of the first world would dare set foot on any section of a public street anywhere that’s not painted with the black-and-white stripes that denote a pedestrian crossing. None of them did on Friday. thanks, Barmy Army. See ya later.

Once in the ground, England’s fans discovered something hitherto unheard and unseen in the series: they didn’t own the stands. At Centurion, Newlands and St George’s Park, Joe Root’s team effectively have enjoyed the benefits of playing in a front of a home crowd. Root felt emboldened enough in Cape Town to, from the slip cordon, implore his travelling compatriots to make more noise. Dean Elgar said the atmosphere made Newlands feel more like Trent Bridge. That’s not the case at the Wanderers, and you can hear and feel it.

A significant number of England fans have left for home rather than risk a second visit to the notoriously crime-ridden Highveld. One tour group leader had 40 clients at Newlands. At the Wanderers he has 20. Some fans didn’t make it as far as Cape Town. Six, from Durham, planned to watch the first two matches before returning to the joys of the northern hemisphere winter. After the Boxing Day Test at Centurion, two of them bolted. “I reckon he got scared,” a survivor said of one of the departed. “He was drinking so much he had the shakes in the morning. And he was on the phone to his wife every five minutes.” Joburg, where the six holed up, some 40 kilometres down the highway from Centurion, can do that to you. The place is a ghostly facsimile of its normally frantic self during the festive season. But, even emptied of its human innards and reduced to a concrete husk, Joburg is thick with intensity. It crackles in the region’s famous electrical storms and shrieks in car alarms randomly renting the air, which is itself stiff with stress.

Now the Joburgers are back in town, and they’ve brought all their unhealthily pent-up competitiveness with them to the Wanderers. Ben Stokes came throat-to-ear with a dose of it on Friday, when a fan apparently called him a “ginger cunt” and likened him to Ed Sheeran, the English pop singer. The crowd also bayed for Zak Crawley’s blood after he had been decked by a bouncer from Anrich Nortjé — “Hit him again!” — and booed and swore at the umpires, Rod Tucker and Joel Wilson, when they dared to end the day’s play because of bad light. Whether Stokes took more exception to being peppered with profanity, or prejudice over his hair colour, or compared to a walking, talking, singing Hobbit isn’t known. But exception he certainly took, lashing out with: “Come and say it to me outside the ground you fucking four-eyed cunt.”

From others, that’ reaction would have been in the league of Jos Buttler calling Vernon Philander a “fucking knobhead” at Newlands. The ICC did their thing — a fine of 15% of Buttler’s match fee and one demerit point — and the incident was quickly forgotten. That said, the Wanderers crowd booed Buttler onto and off the ground on Saturday, and were giddy with joyous rage when Philander dismissed him. But Stokes issuing a threat is something else: he has a history of beating people up outside nightclubs. His expensive lawyers got him off the hook, just like Kagiso Rabada’s did after his physical altercation with Steve Smith at St George’s Park in March 2018. Can there be surprise that, like Rabada — who has been banned for the Wanderers Test for provoking Root at St George’s Park — Stokes hasn’t learnt his lesson

Would Stokes have let loose like he did had he been serenaded to, at and from the crease by a more weighty Barmy Army contingent, instead of having his ears stung by the best efforts of Joburg’s finest? Regardless, the mealy-mouthed apology issued in his name on Friday night read more like an exercise in damage control by a bunch of bloodless suits than the sincere sentiments of a man cursed with a short fuse. 

Stokes has been painted as the victim in this episode, a poor thing from the first world caught in the crossfire of just another day in the horrific third world jungle. England have requested additional security and long before play resumed on Saturday spectators were being lectured — by a big brother on the big screen — on how and how not to behave. That prominent opinion-for-hire, Michael Vaughan, popped up on Twitter with: “How [Ben Stokes] reacted is unprofessional some would say. But are we just accepting people can turn up at the cricket and shout abuse to players!!??? He will be punished and should be but we still shouldn’t accept fans abusing players.” That would be the same Michael Vaughan who, during the Sandpapergate series in the selfsame South Africa in March 2018, tweeted, “It’s making me chuckle the Aussies are making an official complaint about the personal abuse they are receiving … #please!!!!”

Stokes and Vaughan are part of a society where so little is done about the abuse meted out by spectators to black footballers that it continues week in and week out; a place where the Right is rising so fast and so surely that writing racism in newspapers helps you become Prime Minister; a country that voted to leave the European Union largely because they wanted to stop foreigners from reaching their shores — largely the same people they enslaved and colonised all those centuries ago.

But would they walk down an empty street to escape a crowded pavement? Of course not. That would be bad manners, against the health and safety regulations, perhaps even breaking the law. They’re better than that. 

First published by Cricbuzz.

Unsubtle Wanderers promises emphatic climax

“It’s unfortunate that you have to come here as the visiting team to the Wanderers and a hostile environment.” – Quinton de Kock tries, and fails, to show empathy for England.

TELFORD VICE in Johannesburg

THE Wanderers desert lives and breathes. Out where the river breaks, the bloodwood and the desert oak, Holden wrecks and boiling diesels steam in 45 degrees. The time has come to say fair’s fair, to pay the rent now, to pay our share. OK, the game’s up. Those are lyrics stolen from Beds Are Burning, a 1987 hit by woke Aussie rockers Midnight Oil, and shamelessly bent out of their original shape. 

But that’s par for the course in Johannesburg — Joburg to other South Africans, Jozi to the locals — a harsh, unforgiving urban sprawl where everything seems bent out of shape and has been, or will be, stolen from someone. Indeed, People Who Have Stolen From Me, a tale of crimes and their perpetrators, petty and otherwise, on and around Jules Street, the city’s longest, has already been written, by journalist David Cohen, and published, in 2004. And the Wanderers is at the centre of all that; Joburg’s navel, a place that traps the city’s human lint on sweltering, beery summer afternoons. It’s a gambling den as much as it is a cricket ground. Scratch that: it’s a stadium, and unlovely even on that score. That Joburgers don’t see the problem with nicknaming it “the Bullring” — those opposed to bloodsport might have a view on that — only highlights their crassness. All in the space of a few minutes on Thursday, a fire alarm and the lightning warning from the golf course immediately beyond the northern end rent the air. Nobody moved. But what the Wanderers has more of than any other venue in South Africa, perhaps the world, is atmosphere; heaps of the precious, crackling stuff. That’s only intensified by one of the smaller playing areas in the country being surrounded by the tallest stands that can hold 34,000, giving the Wanderers the biggest capacity. Quinton de Kock hoped on Wednesday that the Wanderers crowd, a hoary bunch even before the beer takes hold, will even odds that have been in England’s favour so far this series. Centurion, Newlands and St George’s Park were awash with St George’s flags and crowds have supported Joe Root’s team in greater numbers and more vocally than their South African counterparts. “When the Barmy Army’s been around it’s been a big push for them,” De Kock told an English reporter. “I’m hoping that if the crowd does come out and they support us we’ll also get our big push. It’s unfortunate that you have to come here as the visiting team to the Wanderers and a hostile environment.”

The pitch is overtly South African, a strip of sniping seam movement and sharp bounce that can become unpredictable as early as the second day because of indentations made by the ball. And if the cracks open, abandon all hope ye who bat here. The covers were shed on Thursday to reveal a khaki coloured pitch writhing with grassy, green snakes. Much of the khaki is a variety of grass called “skaapplaas” — the Afrikaans for “sheep farm” — and is what the groundstaff want. The snakes are of “gulf green”, and are trouble for anyone trying to build an innings. That’s not good news for South Africa’s struggling batting line-up, who between them have yet to score a century in the series.

England supporters will be pleased to learn that Jofra Archer, who missed the second third Tests at Newlands and St George’s Park with an elbow injury, bowled without his arm strapped during Thursday’s practice and cranked up the pace.

Will either side pick a spinner? South Africa have selected a specialist slow poisoner only once in their last five Tests here, of which they’ve lost two. One of those defeats was suffered against India in January 2018, when the pitch veered close to being declared dangerous — it ended up being rated poor — and led to play being temporarily suspended. For the first time in a Test, India’s seamers took all 20 wickets.

Thunderstorms are forecast for the first three days. That’s not unusual here in summer, when afternoons are often visited by visceral violence from above. And it’s nothing to be overly concerned about. Unless you’re struck by lightning. Almost always, an hour or so after what had seemed like Armageddon, the sun comes out, the water disappears, and play resumes. That’s Joburg for you: unsubtle, unapologetic and unforgettable.

When: Friday January 24, 2020. 10am Local Time

Where: Wanderers Stadium, Johannesburg

What to expect: A pitch as challenging to bat on as the crowd is hostile to visiting teams. Thunderstorms galore, but which don’t overly impact on play. And not a dry eye even in this house when Vernon Philander, who has taken 39 wickets at 15.69 in his seven Tests at the Wanderers, takes his final bow.  

Team news

South Africa

Faf du Plessis confirmed on Thursday that Rassie van der Dussen would be promoted from No. 5 to No. 3, and that Temba Bavuma — who was dropped despite recovering from the hip injury that kept him out of the first Test at Centurion — would return and replace the underperforming Zubayr Hamza. Beuran Hendricks seems the best available understudy for the banned Kagiso Rabada, albeit a left-armed one, and Dwaine Pretorius could be the lucky recipient of Keshav Maharaj being deemed surplus to requirements.

Possible XI: Dean Elgar, Pieter Malan, Rassie van der Dussen, Faf du Plessis, Temba Bavuma, Quinton de Kock, Dwaine Pretorius, Vernon Philander, Anrich Nortjé, Beuran Hendricks, Dane Paterson. 

England

Although the news about Jofra Archer’s elbow and Mark Wood’s ability to back-up for back-to-back Tests seems positive, England will give themselves another 24 hours before naming their team. The prospect of unleashing both would be tempting, particularly given the likely conditions. After all, it’s not often England have had two bowlers of such rare speed. If Archer returns, it could be as a straight swap for Wood. If Wood plays too, Dom Bess might be jettisoned if England opt for all seam attack, as they did at Centurion, or Sam Curran might be left out, although that would weaken the batting. There’s certainly plenty of options for Root and Chris Silverwood to choose from. A good problem to have, as they say.

Possible XI: Dom Sibley, Zak Crawley, Joe Denly, Joe Root, Ben Stokes, Ollie Pope, Jos Buttler, Sam Curran, Mark Wood, Jofra Archer, Stuart Broad

“When you are deep in the series already, the extra time in the nets is not going to make that much difference. The challenge is how mentally strong we are. We haven’t scored enough first innings runs. Thats the basics of Test cricket. The work we’ve put in is to make sure we are stronger in partnerships. There’s not enough time to change techniques. The secret weapon lies in how strong we can be emotionally and mentally.” – Faf du Plessis on his team’s efforts to overcome their batting problems 

“It would be a relentless barrage of pace which is exciting, especially on a surface like you would typically get here. It would be great to have that extra firepower but ultimately we have got to hit those areas and ask the good questions we have done in the last two games.” – Joe Root on the potential combination of Archer and Wood 

First published by Cricbuzz.

South Africa’s grip slips as Wanderers looms

Oh to be an England supporter now that victory is here.

TELFORD VICE at St George’s Park

SOUTH Africa’s undoing began even before the Barmy Army were able to wearily warble all the way through “Jerusalem”, which they do immediately after the first ball of every day’s play. Vernon Philander interrupted Monday’s rendition at St George’s Park by blipping the third delivery of the morning, bowled by Stuart Broad, towards the irrepressible Ollie Pope, who bolted from silly mid-on and belly-flopped to take a fine catch. That sent a cheer through England’s supporters loud enough to drown out the Army creaking through, “And was Jerusalem builded here, Among these dark Satanic mills?” But the choir were soon back on their bike, and when they reached the screeching bit at the very top of the hill — “In England’s green and pleasant land!” — a beautiful thing happened.

England’s players, still in their happy huddle at the Duckpond End of the pitch, turned towards their fans and, with raised hands, applauded them. The comparative smattering of South Africans in the ground could only look on in silent admiration and sadness. Oh to be an England supporter now that victory is here. Almost always the flow of appreciation in cricket is a one-way street in the other direction: towards the players. To see it reversed reminded all present that, without the fans, there can be no cricket. South Africa haven’t needed to relearn that lesson these past three weeks. They know their supporters are beyond disappointed with them. They are angry, and they are demanding improvement. Quite how will that be achieved considering the series now rushes to an indecently hasty conclusion in Johannesburg, where the fourth Test starts on Friday? The Wanderers is a casino of a cricket ground where gamblers are rewarded as often as they are punished. It’s a wonderful place at which to win but a soul-destroying place at which to lose. And the last place you want to be when so much is on the line and you can feel your grip slipping. South Africa can shuffle the deckchairs and even bring in new furniture, but the Titanic is still heading for the iceberg.  

But first, distraction. Keshav Maharaj and Dane Paterson shared 99 for the last wicket, South Africa’s biggest stand of the match and the highest for the 10th in any Test at this storied ground. The partnership hurried past 50 in Joe Root’s 29th over, when Maharaj clubbed the first three deliveries for four and the next two for six, and didn’t know much about the sixth. Neither did Jos Buttler, and the ball squirted away for four byes to equal the world record for the most runs conceded in a Test over. Finally, someone had worked out that Root, who had figures of 4/20 after bowling 13.4 overs, was a club class pie tosser. Maharaj was a man unleashed from the chore of bowling 58 overs for an utterly underwhelming 5/180, apparently unable not to middle everything he threw his bat at. And he threw it plenty, most lustily at a delivery from Sam Curran that left a metaphoric trail of smoke as it screamed, flat and furious, over the square leg fence. The match should have ended seven deliveries before it did, but the edge Curran gleaned from Paterson went unacknowledged by the umpires. Curran exacted his revenge with a direct hit from mid-on, and that was that. For a while there, two South Africans shrugged off the shackles and, instead of trying to fight a war, played a game. Of course, by then, England had won that game. But, before the bubble burst, it was good to see signs of life from two of the 11 dead men walking. See, cricketminded South Africans? Who said this couldn’t be fun, regardless?

But, in the pressbox, reality had already clinked soberly. During the first drinks interval, at 11am, a man arrived to restock the fridge. With beer. He knew this match was not long for the living. Just as he knew that reporters who would soon have a wedding — for the English — or a funeral — for the South Africans — to write about could do with a splash of bottled celebration or commiseration.

Happily, by the time the Barmy Army were toasting their team’s triumph, the beer was cold.

First published by Cricbuzz.

South Africa’s brain farts leave bad smell

Rassie van der Dussen’s 140-ball 17 was a labour of more than three hours. But its end was another episode of the mental flatulence that cost South Africa the match.

TELFORD VICE at Newlands

FOR the first 93 minutes of play at Newlands on Tuesday, the improbable seemed distantly possible. For a while, something brewed in the quiet place in South Africans’ minds where they go when they want to imagine a reality different from the obvious. For many of them, thoughts of Adelaide in November 2012 were prominent.

Then, Faf du Plessis batted for more than a day on debut to score a century, save the match, write his own script as a man for the trenches, and start his journey towards the Test captaincy. On Tuesday, after 93 minutes, or 27 minutes before lunch, he played the stroke of a dolt — the kind of shot he refused to downgrade to against the Australians more than seven years ago — and the bubble burst. A slapped sweep off Dom Bess flew past short leg but not past square leg, where Joe Denly couldn’t help but take the catch.

Dean Elgar has a phrase for this sort of thing: a brain fart. The shock of what Du Plessis had done rippled electrically around the ground. In came someone the scoreboard introduced as “Hendrick van der Duss”, who can bat a bit, and at least Pieter Malan was still there, the South Africans in the crowd would have thought …

In the seventh over with the second new ball, which was taken when due by — surprisingly — Sam Curran, Malan misread the line of a Curran delivery the left-armer angled across him and Ben Stokes took a low catch at second slip. It was the 288th ball Malan had faced in a stay of more than six hours for his 84, and it was a decent nut. The debutant done good: he had to be got out.

Van der Dussen and Quinton de Kock took South Africa to tea with no further drama, and it was a sign of England’s rising anxiety to take the five remaining wickets that they set bristling fields — all available men, or all but one, in catching positions — in the final session. That paid off in the sixth over after tea, when De Kock, having compiled an exemplary half-century, lunged at a long hop from Denly and smashed it to short midwicket, where Zak Crawley leapt to hold a fine catch. It was another episode of mental flatulence, and it earned Denly — a country house level leg spinner who hadn’t taken a wicket from the 240 deliveries he had bowled going into this match — his second of the innings.

A moment after James Anderson was moved to leg gully, Van der Dussen blipped him a catch off Stuart Broad. Van der Dussen’s 140-ball 17, a labour of more than three hours, was an admirable effort. But its end was another brain fart.

At 237/7, England had taken such firm control of the match that Joe Root felt at home enough to gee up the Barmy Army from his position in the slip cordon. For the significantly fewer South Africa supporters, that was a sickening sight.

After Stokes removed Dwaine Pretorius and Anrich Nortjé with consecutive deliveries to take England within a wicket of victory, Kagiso Rabada and Vernon Philander — who had become embroiled in a verbal confrontation with Jos Buttler — couldn’t quite decide whether to take a run when Rabada punched the hattrick ball down the ground.

They recovered the sensibilities in time not to suffer the calamity of a runout, but the snapshot was a look into the heads of a team who didn’t seem sure of much anymore. Twenty-four balls later, with 50 deliveries left in the match, Philander failed to deal with a rising effort from Stokes and speared a catch to Ollie Pope in the cordon. Philander didn’t seem to believe what had happened, and stood for a long moment, apparently waiting for his fate to be undone. You could hardly blame the man: South Africa had lost half their wickets for 11 runs when all they had to do to secure a draw was bat out a session. That didn’t smell at all good.  

Ten days ago at Centurion, South Africa defied everything that has befallen the game in their country by beating England. They made the improbable not only possible but real, and hopes skyrocketed that after months of darkness the sun had at last come out. It was blazing again at Newlands on Tuesday, but it shone on England. Sometimes even the brightest dawns are false.

First published by Cricbuzz.

Suits of different stripes in CSA’s doom spiral

“I unfortunately have to board a flight now.” – EP Cricket president Donovan May’s fourth and final failure to answer the same question.

TELFORD VICE in Cape Town

LIKE a torpedoed ship, oil haemorrhaging out and water gushing in, Cricket South Africa’s (CSA) bumbling board is deep in its doom spiral. It will not rise, but still it tries, the impending demise ever more desperately denied. The sad saga reached a diabolical level between Wednesday night and Thursday morning, when two board members veered onto opposing paths.

First Jack Madiseng, Gauteng’s president, resigned his seat on the board, writing to president Chris Nenzani that “unfortunately moral and principle circumstances forced me to consider this action after witnessing the board refusing to take accountability and stepping down at the members council meeting [on Friday]”. Then came a tirade quoting Donovan May, the Eastern Province president and a board member, on TimesLIVE, the online platform of a national media group: “I am in full support of the board. I find nothing wrong with the board at all and I actually think that they have been doing a good job. The board is united and the members’ council has given us the green light, as you heard the president say at our AGM at the weekend. It is the media which is driving this thing. It is the media that is crucifying us.” Look at May in this light and he bears a striking resemblance to Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Saddam Hussein’s information minister who in March 2003 appeared on television in Baghdad to say there were no American tanks in the city — even as they rolled through the background behind him. 

You wonder what May makes of the ultimatum on Thursday afternoon from financial services firm Momentum, CSA’s backer for one-day cricket from international level all the way down to the under-13s, that the company will “reconsider its … agreement at the end of the current season” unless six “requirements” are met. Top of the list was the “resignation of the current board of CSA (alternatively resignation of the current president and vice-president [Beresford Williams]) in order to address the leadership crisis at CSA”. The South African Cricketers’ Association have made the same demand, twice, and on Monday the declared they would “not lend credibility to the board of CSA by dealing with a ‘negotiating panel’ if this comprises any board members”.

We don’t have to wonder what Madiseng thinks. “If someone had to be fired or dismissed, in all honesty, the entire board should be fired or dissolved for rubbishing CSA’s brand,” he wrote in a letter to Nenzani and Williams on November 29.

Despite how this looks, Madiseng and May are from the same planet. That wasn’t always the case. Not long ago Madiseng was a staunch defender of Thabang Moroe, CSA’s chief executive, who was suspended on Friday for his role in taking the game dangerously close to self-destruction as a professional going concern. A few weeks ago May was said to be willing to go on record about his concerns over how the board were running the game. He was understood, for instance, to have opposed Moroe’s appointment as chief executive — surely a conflict considering Moroe was CSA’s vice-president — as well as the organisation changing their constitution to afford Nenzani a seventh year as president, 

Contacted on November 20, May shouldered arms: “I cannot speak to you regarding these matters. You know only the CSA president can speak to the media regarding CSA matters. I can only speak to media regarding EP cricket matters. I’m sure you can understand.” We understood. But, clearly, he has changed his mind. Apparently not, and that despite the compelling evidence to the contrary, as quoted above. “As discussed I can only speak on behalf of Eastern Province Cricket,” May told Cricbuzz on Thursday. That was also his answer when he was asked to confirm his reported stance on Moroe and Nenzani. Pressed on the latter, he said, “I cannot comment as I was not on the board to make any appointments. I only recently got into the board.”

That much is true. May joined the gravy train that is CSA’s board, whose members could earn up to USD 27 250 a year, in February — not quite four months before his home ground, St George’s Park in Port Elizabeth, was named as one of the venues for the four Tests England’s men’s team will play in South Africa this southern summer. St George’s, the country’s oldest international venue, last hosted an England Test in 2004. Since then, crowds at Centurion, Newlands and the Wanderers, and even Kingsmead — which like Port Elizabeth struggles with low attendances — have seen the English in two Tests. As many as 12 000 Barmy Army members are expected to turn up this summer, and the Eastern Cape city’s depressed economy could do with a week of steadily pinkening Poms proffering pounds at pubs, pizza parlours, and places to stay.

But we cannot say for sure that May’s supposed change of heart about Moroe and Nenzani was the price he was willing to pay for the privilege of hosting cricket’s biggest regularly travelling circus, and he would hardly be willing to say it was. So, back to the original question. May has been Eastern Province president since March 2014, which means he has sat on CSA’s highest authority, the members council, which has the power to dissolve the board, for more than five years. Did he oppose, in his capacity as a senior administrator, the appointment of Thabang Moroe as CSA’s chief executive in July 2018 and the extension, this July, of Nenzani’s term as president? “Like I said, the board makes those appointments,” May said. We tried again. Did he, as a senior administrator entrusted with doing what’s best for cricket in his province, agree with those developments at the time? And had he changed his mind? “I unfortunately have to board a flight now.” Cricbuzz told him we expected an answer when next he was available. So far, we’ve not heard him, and there doesn’t seem to be much point pursuing a sorry excuse for an elected official who, having been asked a similar question four times, continues to hide from answering it.

There is no longer need to bother Madiseng for comment. He is the first non-independent member to ditch a board that has also lost three of its five independent directors. But there is no gaurantee we won’t see him again: putting as much daylight as possible between himself and the sinking ship would seem a canny move for someone who is thought to have designs on the CSA presidency. Like Arnie, he will no doubt be back. For now, though, Madiseng has left us food for thought. Among the reasons he gave Nenzani for resigning was “your press statement that was meant to have been presented on December 3, 2019”. Cricbuzz has been reliably informed that, last Tuesday, “Chris was to make the statement that Thabang Moroe was not acting on his own accord, as per the picture painted in the media, but that he was following instructions from the CSA board”. Hark: a smoking gun.

Four days later Moroe was suspended and that narrative was no longer useful to Nenzani, Williams and May, along with Zola Thamae, Tebogo Siko, Angelo Carolissen, Steve Cornelius and Marius Schoeman — the rest of this risible, miserable, execrable bunch of suits. To own up to their complicity in the calamity would have been dangerous to their survival, and was therefore unutterable. For CSA’s board, that’s all that matters — not the public, not the sponsors, not the players, and certainly not the game. It’s all about them. And they have the sickening audacity to call themselves custodians. Of what, exactly?

First published by Cricbuzz.